On Monday, May 19, we met to reflect on our performances of "Julius Caesar," and on our 9-month process.
I asked the men to sum up what was most important about this experience in a word or two. Here's what they came up with:
achievement
empowerment (ability, confidence)
freedom (no longer feeling imprisoned)
communication
commitment
teamwork
loyalty
respect
camaraderie
conflict resolution
diversity
exposure (being seen as someone of value)
The next theme I asked the men to consider was how this project had helped them to take a step forward in their own development.
Drew talked about his big conflict with Teddy--the one that had simmered for weeks, and that had come to the surface when Teddy confronted Drew in the kitchen with questions about his ability and his work ethic. We spent 1-2 hours working through the issues in one of our late rehearsals, and although Drew had formally apologized to Teddy for his part in the conflict, it was still not clear to me where things stood between them.
Drew said that he had been thinking of possibly not coming to tonight's debriefing session, when he ran into Teddy in the gym. When Teddy told Drew how much he was looking forward to tonight's meeting, Drew understood that it was important, and that he needed to be here.
He then tried to explain what he learned by working through his conflict with Teddy: "I learned that just because I want it in a certain way--it doesn't mean it's going to be that way. When I get into a conflict, I can step back and say, "Let's see. What can *I* do to help address this situation?" I can see now that conflict stifles creativity. So I don't need him to be my enemy. I want him to be my friend."
(I looked over to see that Teddy was leaning forward and listening intently. His face was calm, and at moments the hint of a smile appeared.)
Drew continued: "You know, I see a parallel with all this and the controversy over Obama saying he's willing to talk to Hamas. I mean, what's the big deal? Of course you've gotta talk to your enemies. On the street, we call fighting "funkin'". And talking to each other instead of fighting is called "squashing the funk."
"Ever since I squashed the funk with Teddy good things have been happening to me. I got some money in the mail. My daughter came to visit me."
George told us that the project helped him to look past other people's differences. He stood up, and came to the front of the room as if to underline the importance of what he was about to say. "As many of you know, I had a very hard time accepting Lewis this year. [Lewis is gay.] I mean, I was a mean motherf**ker to him, and I'm not proud of that fact. In fact, I feel like a piece of shit for having treated him that way. Because of my background, it's very difficult to accept someone like Lewis, but I have learned to accept him. I've learned to see him not for *what* he is, but for *who* he is. I consider him my friend."
Then George walked over to Lewis and put his arms around him. The rest of the men applauded. I heard someone say, "You'll never see that on the yard."
achievement
empowerment (ability, confidence)
freedom (no longer feeling imprisoned)
communication
commitment
teamwork
loyalty
respect
camaraderie
conflict resolution
diversity
exposure (being seen as someone of value)
The next theme I asked the men to consider was how this project had helped them to take a step forward in their own development.
Drew talked about his big conflict with Teddy--the one that had simmered for weeks, and that had come to the surface when Teddy confronted Drew in the kitchen with questions about his ability and his work ethic. We spent 1-2 hours working through the issues in one of our late rehearsals, and although Drew had formally apologized to Teddy for his part in the conflict, it was still not clear to me where things stood between them.
Drew said that he had been thinking of possibly not coming to tonight's debriefing session, when he ran into Teddy in the gym. When Teddy told Drew how much he was looking forward to tonight's meeting, Drew understood that it was important, and that he needed to be here.
He then tried to explain what he learned by working through his conflict with Teddy: "I learned that just because I want it in a certain way--it doesn't mean it's going to be that way. When I get into a conflict, I can step back and say, "Let's see. What can *I* do to help address this situation?" I can see now that conflict stifles creativity. So I don't need him to be my enemy. I want him to be my friend."
(I looked over to see that Teddy was leaning forward and listening intently. His face was calm, and at moments the hint of a smile appeared.)
Drew continued: "You know, I see a parallel with all this and the controversy over Obama saying he's willing to talk to Hamas. I mean, what's the big deal? Of course you've gotta talk to your enemies. On the street, we call fighting "funkin'". And talking to each other instead of fighting is called "squashing the funk."
"Ever since I squashed the funk with Teddy good things have been happening to me. I got some money in the mail. My daughter came to visit me."
George told us that the project helped him to look past other people's differences. He stood up, and came to the front of the room as if to underline the importance of what he was about to say. "As many of you know, I had a very hard time accepting Lewis this year. [Lewis is gay.] I mean, I was a mean motherf**ker to him, and I'm not proud of that fact. In fact, I feel like a piece of shit for having treated him that way. Because of my background, it's very difficult to accept someone like Lewis, but I have learned to accept him. I've learned to see him not for *what* he is, but for *who* he is. I consider him my friend."
Then George walked over to Lewis and put his arms around him. The rest of the men applauded. I heard someone say, "You'll never see that on the yard."
0 comments:
Post a Comment